1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Dig Deeper
When I was not yet a Christian, I had been met by a guy in a grocery store that had invited me to come out and visit his church. I eventually did visit his church and after a bit of time agreed to begin studying the Bible with him and a couple of other guys. I had no idea what I was in for, especially when, at the beginning of one of the studies, one of the guys said that he felt that he needed to share something with me. He proceeded to tell me, admittedly in a very humble manner, that he saw a lot of pride in my life and character, and then went on to give several examples of my pride and arrogance. I wish I could say that I responded humbly and with grace but I did not. I was incredibly close in my heart to standing up and punching him. I completely shut down though and in my mind was done studying the Bible. What surprised me the most, however, was that he did not respond to my brashness and rudeness with similar behavior but with kindness, humility, gentleness, and was even apologetic. The fact that his response was quite different from what I would have expected made quite a lasting impression on me. In fact, it opened the door for me to become a Christian.
Peter continues to offer advice to different groups of Christians, this time to husbands and wives. He continues to approach things from the same perspective, however. Act with submission towards others, not the way that most people would act. The weapons that a Christian has are far different from those of the world. At every turn, Christians should act in a way that is quite different from the norm and can even be quite disarming and shocking. In many instances, the behavior that Peter calls Christians to is not just out of the norm, but the exact opposite of what would be expected. The purpose of this type of behavior isn't just for shock effect or to distinguish Christians from the rest of the world, though it will do that. The purpose is that this type of atypical behavior demonstrates to the world what it is like to be reconciled with God. It actually can guide people towards God as we show them what it looks like to live in peace in with God and others. This is difficult to do consistently in any situation or relationship, but quite frankly, there is no relationship in which this type of consistent behavior is more difficult than in marriage. But this is exactly what Peter calls Christians to do.
Peter has already called his readers to be holy (1 Peter 1:15-16) which only makes sense in the context of new creation. Those who have entered into Christ have entered into the new creation already (cf. 2 Cor. 5:16-21; Eph. 2:6). As citizens of the age to come, the new creation, Christians will live and operate differently from the normal operating system that the world is accustomed to. Just as this applied to the way they viewed governmental authority and the institution of Roman slavery, so the new creation would drastically effect their approach to marriage.
In the ancient world, women did not have many rights and were not considered very highly. It was expected that they would go along with whatever religion their husbands adhered to. Yet, it appears that there was a significantly sized group of Christian women whose husbands were not part of the faith. The worldly response to this situation would be to leave the pagan husband or to constantly nag him about their new faith. This, however, would only make matters worse in a world where a wife taking on a different religion from her husband would be seen as an act of insubordination. Rather than approaching matters from that angle, Christian women should act in a way that no one suspected. They should choose to submit. We must understand this properly so that we understand that Peter is not calling them to subservience. Rather he is calling them to do precisely what Christ had done for them. Christ humbled himself and submitted to death for the benefit of others. They, in turn, should humble themselves for the sake of Christ and submit themselves to their husbands as a means of bringing them to Christ. In doing so, their husbands would be able to see, not the cultic acts of purifying that might be part of Judaism or the pagan religions, but they would see the moral purity and reverence of their lives.
As a part of this, they should not resort to the sorts of things that women of the world use to give the illusion of beauty. Adornments such as elaborate hairstyles, the wearing of gold jewelry, and fine clothes were every bit as common in the ancient world as they are today as a means to attract attention and the affection of men. But Christian women need not resort to such empty and illusory efforts to attain a beauty that fades and withers. Rather it is a gentle and quiet spirit which is valued by not only God but also by their husbands. The reason for this becomes clear if we remember that, in context, Peter is addressing all wives, but primarily those whose husbands are not Christians. Outward beauty elicits lust and attractions that do not last and are predicated on the outward illusion of beauty. The problem is eventually that kind of beauty will fade, yet this is how the husband has learned to be attracted to his wife, and so will continue to seek that stimulation long after it has faded in his wife. Rather than appealing in such a worldly manner, Christian women will be far better served by attracting their husbands with their godly spirit and their attitude which is far more at place in the new creation than in the present age. This will not only attract their husbands to them but also to the very qualities and attributes of the people of the age to come. As their husbands find themselves attracted to this spirit and more at home with this kind of behavior, they will long for it and desire to be around not only their wives, but also find themselves desiring the company of others who act in a like manner. Thus, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.
As a further reason for doing this, Peter points to the historic example of godly women who submitted to their husbands, not because they were forced to or because they were inferior or subservient, but because they put their hope in God. Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him her lord, because she obeyed God and called Him her Lord. This requires faith, not in one's husband, but in God. I've noticed that at nearly every spiritual women's retreat that is planned and taught by women, the main themes tend to center around dealing with fear, anxiety, and worry. Peter is well aware of this as he reminds wives that they will identify themselves with the godly example of Sarah if they put their faith in what God can do rather than giving into fear and worrying about what their husbands cannot do.
Submission is not the natural tendency of wives towards their husbands which is exactly why Christian women exercising their freedom in Christ by choosing to reverently submit to their husbands is such a powerful sermon of actions about the life of the new creation. The fact is, weak women do not submit, they are conquered. Only strong, godly women truly submit of their own free will and their commitment to the life of Christ. In the same way, treating wives with consideration and respect is not the default position of most men and speaks powerfully of the power of God in the lives of free people. When Peter calls husbands to be considerate, he literally tells them to "have knowledge" of their wives, meaning they should make an effort to get to know their feelings and needs and to treat the interests of their wives as more important than their own. It was the common view of Peter's day that women were the physically weaker partner and so should be dominated and dictated to, but Peter, once again demonstrating the upside-down nature of the life of Christ calls husbands to be thoughtful, considerate, and consider their wives as co-heirs in the life of Christ. This meant they were on equal footing, an incredibly subversive idea in Peter's day. This means that Peter called them to equally submit to one another, not for the husband to dominate as the physically stronger partner. In fact, what it means in practice is that wives should freely submit to their husbands, putting their husband's interests ahead of their own but their husbands (those that are also in Christ) should make sure that they are worthy of that submission. Submission should be chosen and earned rather than forced due to the husband overpowering the wife. Living in such a way ensures that believing spouses will live in such a way that they are right with others, lest their relationship with God be hindered by unjust behavior towards others (cf. Matt. 5:24; 18:15).
Devotional Thought
Peter consistently calls Christians to think differently and act differently than the norms of the world around them. The reasons for doing this is to follow the example of Christ for the benefit of others. What are some ways at your work, your school, or in your daily life that you could apply this principle and announce the shocking life of the new creation?
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