Philemon 1:8-14

Paul's Plea for Onesimus

8Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9yet I appeal to you on the basis of love. I then, as Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus— 10I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. 11Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.

12I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. 13I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. 14But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do will be spontaneous and not forced.



Dig Deeper

At the end of the basketball season, we had to remove one of the players from the team for violating team rules. Sometimes the players got to vote on what to do with another player who had broken team rules, but there were certain violations, like this one, that meant automatic dismissal with no vote. During the remainder of that school year, the summer, and the beginning of the next year, the young man who had been dismissed, worked hard on his character and other areas of his life to get himself together. When the new season began, he wanted to rejoin the team, but this time he would have to go up before his teammates for a vote. I could have, of course, just put him back on the team, but that wouldn't have done anything to help the other players work through some hard feelings they still had and wouldn't teach them to think through situations. I let the young man go before the team, apologize, and tell them why he wanted to be back on. The other team members, listened and asked a few questions. Then I went and spoke on his behalf and appealed to the guys to trust me that he had changed, if they didn't trust him. After much talk, they finally voted him back on. The key to the whole situation was that I gave them the opportunity to think and work through the situation on their own and truly welcome him back onto the team.

This is very much like what is going on with Paul and Philemon. Onesimus, had run away, and quite probably helped himself to some money on the way out. He had gone to Ephesus (presumably, although some scholars believe Paul was in Rome at the time he wrote this) and become a Christian and a very valuable disciple in Paul's ministry. Now, Paul knew that he had to send Onesimus back to Philemon so that they could work things out. Paul could have just ordered that Onesimus be accepted, but that wouldn't have really brought a resolution to the situation and would likely have caused continuing hard feelings. Nor would they have been able to exercise the true hallmark of the Christian life, which is being able to think through difficult situations and apply biblical principles. To help the situation along a bit, Paul will appeal to Philemon, not so much on the merits of Onesimus, but more on the relationship that Philemon has with Paul and his status in Christ.

Paul begins verse 8 with the word "therefore," indicating that what he is about to say is anchored and connected to Philemon's character that he described in verses 4-7. Because of Philemon's character and commitment to his status in Christ, Paul could order him to do what he ought to do. Paul has done several things in this short sentence that should not be missed. First, he has established the fact that he believes his position of leadership as an apostle does provide him with a certain amount of authority to make important decisions (cf. 1 Cor. 5:3; 7:6; 9:1; 2 Cor. 12:12). Second, he makes it clear that he could appeal to that authority, but he won't because he respects and loves Philemon as well. He is more interested in Philemon developing genuine Christian character than he is in ordering him to submit to what Paul wants. Paul also makes it clear in not appealing to his authority to force Philemon into action, that everyone is equal in Christ. He did not think that Onesimus had more rights than Philemon did. Third, he mentions that he could order Philemon to do what he ought to do. Paul, won't order Philemon, but he has made it quite clear that what he is going to ask him (he won't actually get to that until verse 17 as he tactfully and carefully lays out his case for Philemon) is the right thing to do.

Paul could appeal to Philemon based on his authority but he would rather appeal to the central characteristic of the Christian community: love. The love that they have in Christ for one another. Some have claimed that Paul is manipulating Philemon by appealing to love and was still not really allowing him to make a decision based on free will. This, I believe though, is wrong-headed thinking. Certainly there is a danger of manipulating and using people, but when two people have truly established an authentic relationship built on love, then appealing to that relationship is completely appropriate. A truly loving relationship is built on putting the needs of the other person above your own, but that can't happen if people aren't equally committed to making their genuine needs known. A true relationship built on love must involve serving the other person, but also allowing yourself to be served, which means your own needs must be made known. If we could all meet all of our own needs, then there would be little reason for relationships with others. Paul would rather appeal to the love they have for one another and have Philemon make the right decision on his own based on the right reasons. Truly, any decision made in the Christian community based on genuine love is the right decision.

Paul adds a bit more of an appeal to the affection that Philemon obviously feels for him, as he reminds him that he is an old man who is currently a prisoner for the cause of Christ Jesus. This is has an emotional appeal to it and is connected directly to the loving relationship that Philemon and Paul have for one another.

Having firmly established the relationship that exists between them, Paul now turns to the topic of Onesimus himself. Paul creates an amusing play on words based on the fact that Onesimus means "useful," a common slave name at the time. Onesimus may have been quite the opposite of useful as a slave, and even more so when he ran away, but now, in Christ, he is useful to both Paul and Philemon. Onesimus is such a changed man that Paul calls him his son in the faith and declares that sending him back to Philemon (Paul would rather keep Onesimus with him because he is so useful but knows that the right thing to do is to send him back to Philemon so that they can be resolve their situation), is like ripping his own heart out of his chest and shipping it to Colosse. This is an incredible example of the true community of Christ in which social distinctions become meaningless. Paul, the esteemed apostle to the Gentiles, is calling a run-away slave his brother. That is the brotherhood that is truly created in Christ.

If Paul was only thinking of himself, he would have kept Onesimus with him, but he will only agree to that if Philemon consents and sends him back. Again in verse 14, Paul mentions that he could force him based on his authority in Christ, but Paul knows that this sort of authority should be used sparingly and only in extreme situations. To constantly expect Christians to obey their leaders solely on their position of authority, not only demonstrates poor leadership, but it also limits those being ordered from developing the instinct to truly give and love out of their own voluntary love for the body of Christ. People will never learn to truly realize the life of Christ if they are constantly motivated by compulsion, coercion, and constraint. The love that must develop in the body of Christ simply cannot flourish and grow under those conditions.

Through Christ, God is redeeming the entire creation, that is currently in rebellion, back to himself, and he has called his people to take part in that ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:17-20). Here in this situation, we see a living, breathing example of that reconciliation in action. After all, if God's people can't engage in true forgiveness and reconciliation amongst themselves, then how can we ever be expected to demonstrate to the world what God's ministry of reconciliation looks like and call them to it in turn?



Devotional Thought

Is there anyone in your life that you need to forgive? Are there are situations in your life that need to be reconciled? What would it take for you to apply God's forgiveness and ministry of reconciliation to the very real situations in your own life?